Fantast Cast Pick - Steven R McQueen as Noah Valois
Character Interview with Noah
ME: What is it about being an Ankh Warrior that you love the most?
Noah: Knowing that for every soul sucking creep I hunt down and kill is a person saved from their despicable evil. And the swords… the swords are cool.
Me: What is your favourite novel? Is it really In Cold Blood or do you just keep reading that to irk Eden?
N: I wasn’t reading it to annoy Eden. I was trying to make a point. Anyway, it’s a great novel. I’d say it’s tied for my favourite with To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee. I’m old skool.
ME: Do you ever wish that you lived an ordinary life? You know, were an ordinary mortal teenage boy?
N: Never. Being a Warrior of Ankh isn’t just a job. You’re not wired like everybody else, wishing you could do this and wanting to do that. The need to hunt soul eaters and protect society from them is part of our ancient DNA. We don’t want to be anything but what we are. Maybe that’s what makes us happier than most people.
ME: Are you happy?
N: Don’t I look happy?
ME: I can’t tell.
ME: Anyhoo… Next question. You live with Cyrus the Princeps of all warriors. Just between you and me… does he have any weird habits?
ME: OK. Does he like doing anything other than hunting soul eaters?
N: Sometimes we’ll play the Xbox together.
ME: Oh? What games is he good at?
N: All of them.
ME: What games are you good at?
N: All of them.
ME: Right. Moving on… Boxers or Briefs?
ME: Chocolate or Vanilla?
ME: Music or Film?
ME: Your favourite band?
N: That’s like asking me what my favourite thing about girls is… there’s a never-ending list of answers.
ME: Okaaayy… well name one of your favourite bands?
N: The Killers. Do you want me to name one thing I like about girls too?
ME: No, no. I think we can all guess. Moving swiftly on… When did you realise you first had feelings for Eden?
N: What are you kidding me? You said this was an interview, not frickin’ Oprah.
ME: But you do have romantic feelings for Eden, don’t you?
Noah makes some kind of grumbling noise that suggests I’ve displeased my interviewee. N: Do dogs bark?
ME: I’ll take that sarcastic and rather unflattering comment as a yes.
N: You do that.
ME: I’m getting the impression there’s somewhere you’d rather be?
N: Eden’s out with Cyrus. It’s her first hunt in Boston… I would have liked to have been there but I committed myself to this interview before I knew about the hunt.
ME: We could have rearranged the interview.
N: When I say I’m going to be somewhere or do something I do it.
Under my breath ME: Not without attitude apparently.
N: I heard that.
ME: Apologies. I really do appreciate you making the effort to be here.
N: I’m a man of my word.
ME: Speaking of which… is it true you were once a bit of “a player”?
N: All right I’m out of here.
ME: OK OK, sorry. Too personal? Yes. Alright. What do you think will happen between you and Eden if Romany comes back into the picture?
N: You’re really trying to ruin my day aren’t you?
N: This is your first interview isn’t it? As Eden would say ‘Dude, you really need to work on your people skills’ Mr Valois promptly stands up and sweeps out of the room without a backwards glance.
So OK, I maybe pushed his buttons a little too much trying to get a good interview. I'll work on that in the future.